tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-72212020815787224122024-02-19T23:33:50.230-08:00Doogan's Digest<a href="http://www.pulpfigures.com/">Pulp Figures</a> Presents Doogan’s Digest.
Ace reporter Mack Doogan, roving correspondent for Hearstwile News Services, writes from the far-flung corners of the globe, bringing to your door all the news, rumors and lies worth knowing.Pulpmurchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11794565376095694822noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7221202081578722412.post-60108843014876474502012-06-12T17:05:00.002-07:002012-06-12T17:05:46.297-07:00Dispatches on Hold-In their Place: An Old Clipping from the Honolulu Gazett<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Doogan Plucked From
Drink</b><br />
<br />
The well-known ace reporter for the Hearst chain of newspapers is resting
comfortably in the Royal
Hawaiian Hospital
today after being literally fished out of the Pacific by local boys fishing
from an outrigger canoe. It seems his trusty Remington Portable
Typewriter had become entangled in their net.<br />
<br />
"It all started as a joke," recalled the stunned newspaperman,
"Hunnybunch and I had been out for a sight-seeing tour along the
cliffs. My new valet, Key Lock was hauling us in his rickshaw."<br />
<br />
"Not that Key was a very good valet. In fact he didn't do anything a
valet is supposed to do. But he's a good rickshaw runner. He was a
big strapping fellow and had the biggest thighs I've ever seen this side of a
Brama bull. That's what he did for a living before Hunnybunch started
using him every day for trips around the island. Next thing I knew he was
living in our bungalow. Hunnybunch said she'd hired him so he could be
available full time."<br />
<br />
"Anyway, during our picnic I had a snoot full and decided to take a nap in
the rickshaw. When I woke up Key Lock and Hunnybunch were pushing it
backwards at a great rate, childish grins on their innocent faces. I
guess they didn't realize how close to the edge of the cliff we were. The
next thing I know I was free falling. I reflexively grabbed for my trusty
Remington just before I hit the water. The next thing I knew I woke up
here."<br />
<br />
Local police inspector Charles Chan took up the story, "It appears that
during the prank the heavy pounding of Mr. Key Lock's feet caused the collapse
of the den of a family of wild boars. Enraged the boars charged Mrs.
Dugan and Mr. Key Lock as they peered over the cliff edge at the receding
figure of Mr. Dugan. They and the boars went over too.<br />
<br />
A funeral service will be held on Saturday. Roast boar will be served.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://www.pulpfigures.com/">Please visit the Pulp Figures site.</a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>Pulpmurchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11794565376095694822noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7221202081578722412.post-11448701662463203342012-06-12T17:01:00.001-07:002012-06-12T17:01:08.938-07:0018. Dateline ? / Doogan Takes a Ride<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Doogan here and I’m lucky to be alive.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Immediately after Lt. Merian Archer and I were beset upon by
masked aerial assassins, who abducted the brave Rocket Trooper and laid a swath
of destruction down upon the village market wherein we had taken refuge, a new
peril befell this reporter.</div>
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<br /></div>
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As the smoke cleared, the villagers emerged from their
respective hiding places to assess the damage to their shops and stalls. An
angry murmur grew and it became apparent that the general feeling was that I,
the foreigner, was in some respect to blame for their misfortune. My season on
the Chicago Tribune’s sports desk honed a fine sense for a burgeoning lynch mob
so I beat a hasty retreat up the road. They followed me for a pace and then, as
if a starter pistol was fired, we simultaneously broke into a run, me clutching
my Remington Portable and they, hay forks and lengths of broken wood.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Up the rutted path I raced and it was only the falling
shroud of night that enabled me to take an abrupt turn up a side trail.
Sheltering behind a gate post, they raged past me. I then discovered that I
stood in the portal of a ruined mission. Suppressing my memories of Sister
Eudorra’s oak yard-stick, I passed beneath a sagging lintel and entered.</div>
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<br /></div>
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The scent of decay greeted me and I knew that the
missionaries had long since retreated from this crumbling outpost. I then
noticed an object in the next room; a modern wheelchair! I examined this
strangely placed artifact. Whereas all of the other furnishings were broken and
decayed, the wheelchair looked clean and new. Fatigued from my ordeal, I took a
seat to catch my breath. Toying with the arm of the chair, a surprising thing
then happened. There were several switches secreted beneath the arm of the
chair. I toggled one and there was a metallic ‘swish’. Ten inch, stainless
steel blades protruded from the hubs of the chair wheels. In amazement, I
toggled another switch. There was a roar of ignition and my seat shot forward
in a gout of flame and smoke. The thin walls of the building blew away as the
chair launched me outside. In futile panic, I tried to steer my ride but in the
darkness I hit the jungle and flew through the underbrush until, what I think
was a large palm, arrested my flight.</div>
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<br /></div>
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I came to in flashlight’s glare. At first I thought I was
looking into the mustached face of my editor, C.J. Boggs, but realized that my
examiner was instead a robust, Teutonic woman in a nurse’s uniform. I attempted
to introduce myself but she raised a massive, knotted fist and I remembered no
more. Turn the lights off Ma and let the cat out. This is Doogan signing off.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://www.pulpfigures.com/">Please visit the Pulp Figures site.</a> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>Pulpmurchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11794565376095694822noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7221202081578722412.post-2087698354239366092012-06-12T16:57:00.001-07:002012-06-12T16:59:28.473-07:0017. Dateline Gun Xiang / Woo Makes a Break<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cub reporter Jimmy Woo signing in. My escape from the
besieged Gun-Xiang monastery has been successful, much due to the efforts of
the courageous monks and especially my cousins, also monks within the order,
the Chin twins.</div>
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To recount my situation, I was given shelter within the
monastery after being recognized by the twins. I was then taken before the head
monk wherein it was revealed that the Monks did indeed poses the Promethean Vacuum
Tube invented by missing American scientist Dr. Raullo Ortega. The Head Monk
explained that his order was in league with several other humanitarian groups,
all engaged in a perilous struggle against a mysterious evil organization which
was seeking total conquest of South Asia.
While few details were known of this villainous group, it was known that
Notorious Chun-King and his army were puppets of this infinitely devious
criminal network. Apparently, a key player in this unfolding drama and a
bastion in forces of good is the famed scientist/adventurer, Doc Thompson.
Readers will all be familiar with the exploits of this heroic but seldom seen
man, known for his fantastic exploits in the service of mankind. It was
Thompson who was responsible for spiriting the Promethean Vacuum Tube away from
Chun but due to further perils was forced to entrust the device to the good
monks of Gun-Xiang. Unfortunately, spies had been at work and Chun was informed
of the location.</div>
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<br /></div>
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It has now been determined that the Promethean Vacuum Tube
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time before the sinister forces behind the warlord dispatch a more powerful
force to conquer Gun-Xiang. </div>
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<br /></div>
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In the end, the head monk asked for my assistance. I have
been charged with the grave duty of carrying the mysterious Promethean Vacuum
tube away from Notorious Warlord Chun-King and delivering it into the hands of
Doc Thompson. To this end we were assigned a prized possession of the
monastery, a German built motorcycle with a sidecar. The monks then saw to it
that a large amount of rice wine found its way out to Chun’s army and seizing
an opportune moment, all of us, Chin twins and I, clad in the robes of the
monks, made a break for a hole in the lines.
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Our exit was made trough a small aquifer tunnel known only
to the monks. Out we burst at full throttle down a shallow river bed, orange
robes billowing behind us. Machinegun bullets spattered and a few shell rounds
landed too close for my comfort, but we tore away from the monastery before the
drunken troops could muster sufficient force to stop us.</div>
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<br /></div>
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I must end my dispatch here in hope that Mr. Doogan will
read of my promising investigations. I will now conclude by asking Mr. Doogan’s
Mother to set free her cat and switch off her lights as is traditional in this
column.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://www.pulpfigures.com/">Please visit the Pulp Figures site.</a><br />
</div>Pulpmurchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11794565376095694822noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7221202081578722412.post-50987560241791436502012-06-12T16:50:00.003-07:002012-06-12T16:50:50.328-07:0016. Dateline Chin Wey / Mystery Attack<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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Doogan here and I’m lucky to be alive!</div>
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This dispatch continues from where I left off in my previous
missive wherein Lt. Merian Archer and I were finishing a scant but hard-earned
meal in the muddy street of a remote up-river village. Suddenly the ground
rocked with a violet explosion! Chaos erupted in the market as panicked
villagers abandoned their stalls in terror. Staccato burst of machinegun fire
tore the air and Lt. Archer and I dove for cover beneath crates of cabbage, a
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The instigators of this heinous attack on defenseless
villagers began to emerge from the oily grey haze. I could barely contain my
astonishment. Clad from head to toe in rubber coated coveralls, faces obscured
by hideous gas masks which sprouted breathing tubes attached to chrome
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Lt. Archer brought his side arm to bear on the apparent
leader. His shot caught the masked figure in the shoulder. At once the
marauders poured their fire in our direction, spraying shredded cabbage
everywhere. My attempt to surrender was nullified by Merian’s determination to
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It was then that I noticed that the ground, in which my nose
was buried, had darkened. Glancing up I saw an unnaturally low cloud formation
overhead, almost touching the village rooftops. At once the shooting ceased. To
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</span>I turned to Lt. Archer but at that instant there was a blinding flash
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When I came to I was suffering a hangover befitting Uncle
Ernie’s worst bathtub gin and Lt. Archer was nowhere to be seen. I realized now
that my quest for missing American genius, Dr. Raullo Ortega, was to be a
stranger adventure then even I had imagined it would be. Turn the lights off Ma
and let the cat out. This is Doogan signing off.</div>
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<a href="http://www.pulpfigures.com/">Please visit the Pulp Figures site.</a> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>Pulpmurchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11794565376095694822noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7221202081578722412.post-65534114232634017742012-06-12T16:47:00.001-07:002012-06-12T16:47:14.424-07:0015. Dateline Chin Wey / Doogans Takes the Stage<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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Doogan here and I’m lucky to be alive.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In the weeks following my previous dispatch, much has
occurred that would baffle and astound my loyal readers at home. My companion,
Lieutenant Merian Archer of the United States Rocket Corp, and I had come to
the tiny up-river market village of Chin Wey and were seeking passage to China
Station so that I can continue my quest for vanished American botanist, Dr.
Raullo Ortega, creator of the Ultra-Violet Photosynthesizing Accelerator.
Unfortunately, our sorry financial condition gave us little esteem in the eyes
of the various river junk captains anchored at the decrepit jungle wharf.</div>
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<br /></div>
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In our desperation, I remembered my youthful apprenticeship
on the variety desk of the St. Lewis Evening Bugle. Digging into my vaudeville
memories I convinced my partner to join in a small street performance. While
neither Lt. Archer nor I could soft shoe worth a hill of beans, our recently
acquired chicken, Cassilla (aptly named after my first wife who was burlesque
hoofer sporting legs not dissimilar), showed a marked ability to perform the
lindy hop. Soon we were in the market square with Cassilla dancing while Lt.
Archer played rocket pack percussion using chopsticks in accompaniment to yours
truly as I hammered out a passable rendition of ‘The Yellow Rose of Texas’ on
my Remington Portable Noiseless Typewriter.</div>
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<br /></div>
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The sizable crowd our act drew was testament to our
showmanship; however, my upturned hat remained sadly empty, perhaps due to the
rural population’s unfamiliarity with sophisticated western culture. Our
audience did eventually bestow upon us a sizable contribution of slightly
over-ripe vegetables which, when combined with a soup stock made from our star
attraction, kept us from starvation for another day. Despite our theatrical
ambitions, passage up river remained an elusive goal.</div>
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<br /></div>
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I must pause here with a note that matters were about to
take a dramatic turn. Until then, turn the lights off Ma and let the cat out.
This is Broadway Doogan signing off.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://www.pulpfigures.com/">Please visit the Pulp Figures site.</a> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>Pulpmurchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11794565376095694822noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7221202081578722412.post-22576953319625404672012-06-12T16:26:00.001-07:002012-06-12T16:43:48.383-07:0014. Dateline Chin Wey / Doogan makes for Market!<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Doogan here and I’m lucky to be alive.</div>
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<br /></div>
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It seemed an eternity that Lt. Merian Archer of the United
States Rocket Corp and I floundered through the dense tropical forest,
following a tributary of the Boo-Kong
River. At last fortune
smiled and we chanced upon a sampan. My expertise with South-Asian dialects
enabled me to negotiate passage with the grizzled farmer and his family who were
transporting their crop to market. (Note to Mr. Hearst-please forward on
account; one silver-plate Timeking wristwatch to my lodgings in China Station,
engraved with the following; ‘To my flying hero, love Becky Sue’.)</div>
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Storm clouds were not far away however. As the river began
to widen we saw in the distance a log boom chained across the water and baring
our way. From the agitation of our hosts I deduced that we had chanced into the
trap of a band of river pirates, a not-uncommon occurrence in this remote
district. The sampan family was for a return up river but Lt. Archer adamantly
argued for a bold scheme, which if successful would see us through the trap and
on our way east. </div>
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<br /></div>
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At this point a shot rang out, splintering our gunnel.
Emerging from the riverbank was as motley an assortment of villains this side
of Al Capone’s bachelor party. The gaggle of eye-patched and ragged brigands
waved at us with their weapons which included antique matchlocks, machineguns
and every stage of firearm development between. Boats pushed off from the shore
and I knew we were for it soon.</div>
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<br /></div>
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All this while Lt. Archer was fiddling with his damaged
rocket pack. As our host family cowered in the bottom of the sampan I prepared
to meet the pirates with my usual bravura. I realized however that I had little
time to disguise myself as a Chinese peasant’s grandmother. It was just as the bandits neared our vessel
that Lt. Archer’s rocket gave a truncated bark of smoke and then violently
roared to life. A column of fire exploded from the back of our craft, blew the
pirate dinghys top over bottom and we leapt forward toward the log boom. We
must have been nearly out of the water as we passed clean over the boom and
continued on down the river at what must have been eighty miles per hour.
Merian braced his rocket pack against the back of the boat while the rest of us
held on for dear life.</div>
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<br /></div>
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I am writing this dispatch in the market town of Chin Wey
where we have taken our leave of the farmer and his family who were so grateful
for their deliverance from the pirates (and a record setting travel time to
market) that they gave us a basket of mangoes and a live chicken.</div>
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"> I leave you now
dear readers with the promise that my quest for missing American theoretical
biologist, Dr. Raullo Ortega, associate developer of the new Quaker quick-oats
porridge, will continue. Until then, turn the lights off Ma and let the cat
out. This is Doogan signing off.</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><a href="http://www.pulpfigures.com/">Please visit the Pulp Figures site</a> </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>Pulpmurchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11794565376095694822noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7221202081578722412.post-75027832062299336242012-06-12T16:18:00.001-07:002012-06-12T16:18:34.637-07:0013. Dateline Gun-Xiang / Woo Escapes!<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
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<b>13. Dateline Gun-Xiang / Woo Escapes!</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Jimmy Woo here and for weeks I have received no word of Mr.
Doogan. I myself have survived many harrowing adventures in my disguised role
of Notorious Warlord Chun King’s personal physician, traveling with his
rampaging army as it cuts a bloody swath through the chaotic southern
provinces.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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This last week we found ourselves once more besieging the Gun-Xiang
monastery. I now believe I have uncovered the reason behind the General’s
obsession with the normally peaceful monks. In a large wagon pulled by no less
then ten oxen, hidden beneath a canvas cover, is the strange electronic cannon
device which I had earlier spied in Chun’s mountain strong-hold. Readers may
remember that I had linked this weird scientific apparatus with the missing
American inventor that Mr. Doogan and I are tasked with finding on behalf of
the honorable Hearst newspaper chain.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am now more certain then ever that this weapon must be a
creation of Dr. Ortega. From the varied conversations I have had with the
mercenaries of Chun King, it seems that the strange device cannot function as
it is missing a critical part, the previously mentioned Promethean Vacuum Tube.
This component, it seems, has somehow come into the possession of the monks of
Gun-Xiang.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As to myself, I began to fear that my medical disguise was
starting to be questioned by my captors. This was partly due to the large
purple body rash Chun King developed after using the herbal ointment I
prescribed for his gout. As well, my skills at acupuncture, while improving,
have been a source of growing suspicion. Sensing impeding danger, I committed
myself to escape at the earliest opportunity.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was not long before that opportunity presented itself.
Chung once again boldly assaulted the monastery ramparts and as the battle
raged I successfully made my way through the smoke and flame only to become
trapped amidst the ruined buildings of a nearby village. </div>
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<br /></div>
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As the shells rained down I said my final prayers but fate
intervened and I was confronted by several warrior monks who, taking me for a
soldier of Chun, made me captive. Inside the Monastery I had the miraculous
good fortune of being recognized by two of the monks who, as things turned out,
were cousins of mine-twin brothers from the Chin side of my family. Defeated
once more, the warlord has retreated and I remain with the Chin twins and the
other holy men, safe for now and soon to discover the secret connection between
the monks of Gun-Xiang and Dr. Raullo Ortega.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This is Jimmy Woo saying, do not worry Mrs. Doogan as you
retire to bed this evening and do not forget to release your cat from your
home.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://www.pulpfigures.com/">Please visit the Pulp Figures site.</a> </div>Pulpmurchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11794565376095694822noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7221202081578722412.post-39588787925284391172012-06-12T16:15:00.000-07:002012-06-12T16:15:44.494-07:0012. Dateline South Asiatic Wilderness / Doogan Lost<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
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Doogan here and I’m lucky to be alive.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Loyal readers will recall my harrowing rescue from certain
death by a fantastic rocket man. I am now able to identify my aerial savior as
Lieutenant Merian Archer of the United States Rocket Corp.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For nearly a year now, stateside rumors have been
circulating about an elite new branch of the United States Army Air Service.
Readers of Hearst newspapers will remember that this reporter personally linked
this mysterious military unit to an incredible invention by missing American
Scientist, Dr. Raullo Ortega. According to a recent filing at the Lakehurst New
Jersey Patent Office, a rocket assisted infantry launcher was registered by Dr.
Ortega on January 3<sup>rd</sup> of last year. At the same time, this reporter
learned by means legally questionable but rendered morally justified under the
auspices of the 5<sup>th</sup> estate, Ortega also registered an underwater
radio transmission device and a seedless variety of cucumber. All of these
patents stand as further evidence of the missing inventor’s unpredictable
genius. We can only imagine the desperation behind the closed doors of the Capital Building in Washington. Should Dr. Ortega fall into the
wrong hands our nation could find itself in immanent peril.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As to my own present situation, I write this dispatch while
lost somewhere from within a vast and trackless Asiatic swamp. Sadly, Lt.
Archer’s rocket device was badly damaged by an accidental impact with this
reporter’s Remington Noiseless Portable Typewriter-which itself remains
miraculously functional as evidenced by this missive. While one might attribute
the Lieutenant’s stony silence towards this reporter to my unintentional
contribution to our present dilemma, I realize that Lt. Archer must guard
himself from revealing any secrets pertaining to a mission vital to national
security.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Our only recourse now is to endure the buzzing swarms of
biting insects, the deprivations of hunger and thirst and to follow a stagnant,
snake infested stream in hopes that it will lead us to a tributary of the
mighty Boo-Kong River and perchance, civilization. Until then, turn the lights
off Ma and let the cat out. This is Doogan signing off.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://www.pulpfigures.com/">Please visit the Pulp Figures site.</a></div>Pulpmurchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11794565376095694822noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7221202081578722412.post-36411559325576049332012-01-16T14:26:00.000-08:002012-01-16T14:33:39.801-08:0011. Dateline Unknown / Doogan Takes a Fall<div class="MsoNormal">
Doogan here and I’m lucky to be alive!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Apologies go out to my faithful readers but this reporter
has been out of circulation for a while. I am victim of circumstances beyond
the control of even my esteemed publisher Mr. Hearst, who sent me on this
assignment to find missing American Electrical Physicist, creator of Aluminium
Helio-Vapor, Dr. Raullo Ortega. Regular subscribers will recall, when last I
wrote, I was trapped inside a dark container of some sort with only my trusty
Remington portable noiseless typewriter to keep me company.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The next installment of my adventure began when I was
awakened by rough hands grabbing me by the scruff and unceremoniously dragging
me from what turned out to be a large shipping crate. I was immediately thrust
into a wind-blasted open doorway. My eyes, accustomed to total darkness, were
blinded by the glare of daylight. Without a word, my masked abductors gave me
kick in the posterior and I instinctively prepared to land in a gutter. Instead
I found myself falling like a sack of hammers through the blue yonder.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Plummeting towards certain doom, I was just able to glimpse
a very large aircraft receding in the distance. I found myself smiling at the
irony of meeting my fate in this altitudinous manner, reminded of my second
wife Leota who accidentally tangled my ankle in the rope of a hot air balloon during
our honeymoon in the Pokinos.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Suddenly I heard a deafening roar and I was seized by a pair
of strong arms which arrested my precipitous decent. Turning, I saw my rescuer
was some sort of flying man wearing a backpack which spewed a jet of flame. At
that moment my savior was struck hard by a falling metal object, which turned
out to be my typewriter-obviously thrown from the plane immediately after me.
Fortune smiled once again and I was able grab hold of my prized possession but
the damage inflicted to my rescuer’s flying equipment was already done. His dented
rocket began to sputter and we commenced to plummet once more. By the slimmest
margin the flying man was able to re-start his engine just before the fatal
impact and we careened into a swampy patch of ground, narrowly escaping death.<br />
<br />
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At this point in my narrative I must leave you gentle
readers. Be sure, I will return to enlighten you with the next thrilling
installment of my adventure. Until then, turn the lights off Ma and let the cat
out. This is Doogan signing off.</div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><a href="http://www.pulpfigures.com/">Please Visit the Pulp Figures Website</a> </span>Pulpmurchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11794565376095694822noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7221202081578722412.post-84520382151993607602012-01-16T14:23:00.000-08:002012-01-16T14:23:08.521-08:0010. Dateline Gun-Xiang / Woo Witnesses Warlord at War<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
Cub reporter Jimmy Woo here and I cannot speak for Mr.
Doogan but I remain alive.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am reporting from the terrible battle of Gun-Xiang
monastery where Notorious Warlord Chun-King has just suffered a crushing defeat
at the hands (and feet) of the local monks. Despite the withering rifle fire
and even Chun’s attempt to use a new armored gun carriage, the local brand of
salamander-style kung fu has devastated the warlord troops as they made
numerous bloody assaults on the walls of the monastery where-in the rebellious
monks were making a heroic stand. Even from my distant vantage point I could
see the monks demonstrating their famed skill of running across the vertical
surface of the fortress wall, easily knocking back scaling ladders loaded with
attacking soldiers.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In the guise of Chun’s staff doctor I have, for days,
bandaged sprained necks and splinted broken limbs. During the course of the
battle, Chun’s frustration at his own lack of progress actually began to
inflict more casualties on his already beleaguered troops as the emotionally
distraught commander repeatedly turned his machine gun on his own men in a vain
attempt to drive them forward again. Needless to say, the sight of so many
uniformed troops simultaneously retreating from two opposite directions was
remarkable indeed.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As dawn breaks over the terraced landscape, Chun has decided
to modify his campaign strategy and march south to attack warlord Daing-Po.
China Station residents will recall that Chun has already defeated and disarmed
Po and that Po
now serves Chun but in the General’s own words, “I really need to kick Po around some more. It will be good for morale.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As to missing American physicist, Dr. Raullo Ortega, pioneer
of molecular disruption theory, I have uncovered another clue. It seems that
the reason behind Chun-King’s campaign is a quest for something called the
Promethean Vacuum Tube. My eavesdropping indicates that this item is the final
component of a deadly weapon, that once complete, will give the Notorious
Warlord control of all South Asia. It is my hope that this smuggled dispatch
will alert the authorities before it is too late.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Until I write again, release your cat from confinement Mr.
Doogan’s mother, and turn off your light. This is Jimmy Woo signing off.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://www.pulpfigures.com/">Please Visit the Pulp Figures Site</a> </div>Pulpmurchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11794565376095694822noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7221202081578722412.post-19199272976254889632012-01-16T14:19:00.000-08:002012-01-16T14:20:05.372-08:009. Dateline Unknown / Doogan in the Dark<div class="MsoNormal">
Doogan here and I’m lucky to be alive!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Your favorite news-hawk has suffered a setback. I have
awakened to find myself locked in some sort of packing crate and it’s as black
as Aunt Emma’s Christmas pudding. The only sound I can hear is a low drone of
powerful engines. Otherwise, I am deprived of all possessions save for my trusty
Remington portable, noiseless typewriter, on which I am presently tapping this
dire dispatch.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My last recollection is of a pleasant preamble in the
beauteous lotus gardens of Dr. Koo. My host was giving me the ten-cent tour of
his exotic blossoms. The florid collection boasted many unique varieties,
according to the Doctor, several of which were possessed of remarkable
properties. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was giving one of the lithe lilies a deep sniff, as Dr.
Koo had just extolled the virtues of it’s particularly potent perfume, when all
of a sudden the world began to spin and my pegs gave out from under me. Coming
to I find myself in the circumstances I have already described, packed and
shipped to destinations unknown.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now, if it were not for my ability to type in the dark, a
skill I acquired during the frequent bouts of temporary blindness I suffered in
the initial months of prohibition, this desperate document would be impossible.
How I will deliver it to the wire services has yet to be seen.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I can also only hope that my friend Dr. Koo has somehow
eluded a similar fate and is not this very minute also shanghaied by these
mysterious assailants. A big cheese like Koo would be almost as valuable to
kidnappers as an award winning American journalist.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Fear not however, gentle readers as I have been in tight
spots before and somehow I always manage to get clear. I’m sure nixing this jam
will be no different.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Until next time, turn the lights off Ma and let the cat out.
This is Doogan signing off.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://www.pulpfigures.com/">Please Visit the Pulp Figures Website</a> </div>Pulpmurchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11794565376095694822noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7221202081578722412.post-57798845502142540202012-01-16T14:14:00.000-08:002012-01-16T14:17:12.762-08:008: Dateline Boo Kong Uplands / Plantation Peril<h1>
<span style="font-weight: normal;"></span></h1>
<h1>
<span style="font-weight: normal;"></span></h1>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
Doogan here and I'm lucky to be alive!<br />
<br />
Despite being graciously entertained by Dr. Koo and his
staff here at the good doctor’s rubber plantation, deep in the vast Boo Kong
jungle, I have been subject to several unusual encounters with local fauna.
Now, I’ve found snakes in my bed before but after a close call with an
especially large specimen of deadly tropical spider lurking in my sock drawer I
began to get extra cautious.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My faithful Remington portable, noiseless typewriter came to
my rescue, yet again, as I had just completed my last dispatch when I was
assaulted by a nasty little monkey with an immense cane knife. The fiendish imp
somehow managed to unlatch my window shutter, enter my room and was nearly on
me before I took notice. Diving beneath my desk to escape the tiny brute and
his waving cutlery I upset the typewriter and it fell with crushing force on top
of the pint sized assassin, ending his murderous career in short order.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Dr. Koo politely apologized for the incident and explained
that a rival plantation owner had experimented with trained apes as laborers
and since the failed endeavor the vicinity had been plagued by marauding bands
of knife wielding simians. I told my host to think no more of it and informed
him that P.T. Barnum once had a similar problem. In fact, Lon Chaney wore his
first makeup after receiving a prominent scar while working with Barnum’s
monkeys.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I concluded my investigation of the plantation, no closer to
finding any clues as to the whereabouts of vanished American engineer,
Professor Raullo Ortega, the noted creator of cold rolled radium foil.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
I am unable to return to China Station by aeroplane as the
pilot who brought me here, Captain Wong, suffered a fatal accident when the
bridge across Dr. Koo’s ornamental crocodile pool collapsed suddenly and
unexpectedly. The Captain had just left Dr. Koo’s office. Wong’s mishap
reminded me of a similar incident with my third wife Sonja, who accidentally
elbowed me into an alligator pond, while we were playing miniature golf at the
Sarasota Springs Honeymoon Haven. Newlywed memories aside, I’m now seeking alternative
routes back to China Station. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Until next time, turn the lights off Ma and let the cat out.
This is Doogan signing off.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://www.pulpfigures.com/">Please Visit the Pulp Figures Website</a> </div>Pulpmurchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11794565376095694822noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7221202081578722412.post-68106966143285834222012-01-16T14:05:00.000-08:002012-01-16T14:05:41.687-08:007: Dateline Boo Yi District / Woo Visits Warlord<div class="MsoNormal">
<b></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cub reporter Jimmy Woo here and I can’t say if Mr. Doogan is
alive or not.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Since leaving for Dr. Koo’s plantation, no word has been
received from the esteemed representative of Hearst News Services. This
reporter is keeping his fingers crossed in hopes of hearing that Mr. Doogan is
safe.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Meanwhile, following a tip from my aunt in Boo Yi district,
I investigated a report that the notorious warlord Chun-King had entertained
missing American physicist, Dr. Raullo Ortega, creator of the Zenon Televisor,
at his remote mountaintop fortress. Taking advantage of my Uncle’s apothecary business
I posed as a common peddler of herbs and snake venom potions and made the
difficult journey up country to the Cliffs of Death.</div>
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<br /></div>
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The infamous bandit is a renowned hypochondriac so I had
little trouble gaining entrance to the foreboding compound though I knew there
was a good chance I might never leave. The afternoon passed as I waited for
Chun to complete his daily round of summary executions and extortion meetings
with local farmers. When night came I found myself in the presence of this
minor Genghis Kahn. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Chun King inquired if I stocked bear bladder or crocodile
organ. It seems that the notorious warlord’s energetic new wife (his sixth I
understand) is posing a daunting challenge for a husband well into his middle
years. I could not supply the General with the requested medications but I did
sell him a vial of thistle oil that, according to my uncle’s sales manual,
makes a passable substitute.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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In the course of my medical improvisation I was able to
surmise that Dr. Ortega had been at the compound. On a balcony visible from the
General’s chamber there stood a strange glass and steel device, which resembled
a cannon of some sort. A servant confided that a westerner supervised the
construction of the machine. This person, the servant informed me, used a
wheelchair and spoke in an odd metallic voice. I was secretly ecstatic as this
description matches that of our lost scientist.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Unfortunately, the notorious warlord’s previous physician
suffered a heart attack while being suspended by rope from the fortress walls
by soldiers who were betting on how high a doctor would swing. I have been
taken on as the official medical expert of Chung King’s staff. Further reports
will be submitted when I can make arrangements with local smugglers.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Until next time, turn your lamp off Mrs. Doogan and allow
your cat to roam free. This is Jimmy Woo signing off.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<a href="http://www.pulpfigures.com/">Please Visit the Pulp Figures Website</a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>Pulpmurchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11794565376095694822noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7221202081578722412.post-60432285686368595432012-01-16T13:58:00.000-08:002012-01-16T13:58:50.517-08:006: Dateline Boo Kong Uplands / Koo’s Rubber Plantation<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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Doogan here and I’m lucky to be alive.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Responding to a generous invitation from resident Mandarin
magnate Dr. Koo, this reporter arranged for a visit to the interior in a
continuing quest for information as to the whereabouts of vanished American
chemist and inventor of Solium Distillate Rocket Gas, Dr. Raullo Ortega.</div>
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<br /></div>
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The first stop would be Dr. Koo’s rubber plantation, fifty
odd miles up river and surrounded by a snake infested mangrove swamp known
locally by the quaint title, ‘Evil Bog of Howling Devils’.</div>
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I was informed that the road to this honeymoon resort had
recently succumbed to a major mudslide induced by a minor volcano. To spare the
esteemed representative of Hearst News Services any discomfort during the
journey, Dr. Koo generously offered to convey this reporter to his destination
by private aeroplane.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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High above the steaming bamboo hinterlands Dr. Koo’s pilot,
an inscrutable fellow known as Captain Wong, probably hoping to keep his
worldly passenger from being bored during the flight, decided to demonstrate
his aerobatic talents with some impromptu high altitude stunt flying. A sudden
inversion of the old box kite had this reporter grabbing for his seat belt,
but, due to some unforeseen maintenance error on the ground, the harness was
missing its safety clasp. </div>
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Faithful readers will recall my interview with the Great
Waldo Pepper, during which a similar situation confronted this reporter. My
barnstorming experience served me well because in short order I found myself
dangling over the jungle with only my wrist lashed to the case strap of my
trusty Remington Portable Typewriter that remained firmly wedged beneath my
seat.</div>
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After several minutes of violent rolling, Captain Wong
noticed my predicament and righted the aircraft. Upon our safe landing at Dr.
Koo’s estate Captain Wong was profuse in his apologies…. to Dr. Koo, and this
reporter sought out the nearest bottle of medicinal nerve tonic.</div>
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Until next time, turn the lights off Ma and let the cat out.
This is Doogan signing off.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://www.pulpfigures.com/">Please Visit the Pulp Figures Website</a> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>Pulpmurchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11794565376095694822noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7221202081578722412.post-10729149598550398752012-01-16T13:54:00.000-08:002012-01-16T13:54:32.943-08:005: Dateline China Station/ Doogan Clears Boche Blimp<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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Doogan here and I’m lucky to be alive. Advisory to travelers
in South Asia; water-buffalo may be afraid of
a little boy swinging a stick, but they are not afraid of <u>you</u> and they’re
faster then they look. Anyhow…</div>
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Its now certain that the zeppelin which passed over China
Station, moments before the explosion of the British Legation Polo Clubhouse,
was not responsible for the devastation that has the Anglo-Orient community
desperately searching for a new venue to hold their seasonal presentation of
H.M.S. Pinafore, which I’m told is performed by an all male cast (and with
hobbies like that its hardly a wonder their empire is shrinking). </div>
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<br /></div>
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Captain Dussinger of the airship LZ124, expressed sympathy
to Consul, Major General Ripperton, but he emphasized to this reporter, “If we
Germans intended to bomb the British Legation, I assure you our aim is better
then that.” This newest Zeppelin in the German Air Fleet is on the first leg of
its trans-Asiatic geological survey. </div>
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With Jerry out of the picture, the mystery of the bombing
only gets deeper but in the course of my investigation I did encounter one
suspicious character. Snooping around the blast site, I knocked heads with a
bird named Chan who was also nosing through the debris. He was accompanied by a
young tough whom he insisted was his eldest son. And get this; Chan claims to
be a detective from the Honolulu
police force! I can only say that I found those flying simians from Oz more
believable. Stealing a page from my book, Chan claims to be searching for
vanished American astronomer Dr. Raullo Ortega, known for bringing the Van
Allen Belt to the attention of Van Allen. He just better not try to pull any
monkey business while Doogan has the watch.</div>
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Until next time, turn the lights off Ma and let the cat out,
this is Doogan Signing off. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://www.pulpfigures.com/">Please Visit the Pulp Figures Website</a> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>Pulpmurchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11794565376095694822noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7221202081578722412.post-86927784086388616622012-01-04T23:04:00.000-08:002012-01-04T23:04:34.356-08:004: Dateline China Station/ Zeppelin Alert!<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
Doogan here and I’m lucky to be alive- after a night of
determined investigation in no less than five of China Station’s more liberal
entertainment establishments.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The drone of powerful engines awakened this reporter from
his gentle, gutter-side slumber outside of Lady Edna Beardsley’s famed
Tropicana/Orient nightclub. With my finely tuned newsman’s eye for detail, it
was apparent immediately that all activity on this normally hectic street had
come to a precipitous halt and that locals and foreigners alike were craning
their necks to the sky in an attempt to spot the origin of the noise.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As my blurred vision strained to focus I puzzled at the
unusual silver tone of the morning sky but within seconds I realized that what
we were witnessing was indeed the low passing of a titanic air-ship.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Within moments this leviathan of the sky had moved off over
to the foreign quarter of the city and as people began conversing excitedly
there was a huge explosion which shook the very ground on which I lay. Within
seconds a plume of black smoke began to rise from somewhere within the foreign
legations.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am writing this dispatch from my room and as soon as I
shake this pounding headache, I intend to delve into this singular event. It is
entirely possible that whatever violent disaster has occurred, it could be
somehow linked to the mysterious fate of missing American Scientist, Dr. Raullo
Ortega, inventor of the cosmic beam annihilator.<span> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Until next time, turn the lights off Ma and let the cat out,
this is Doogan Signing off.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://www.pulpfigures.com/">Please Visit the Pulp Figures Site.</a> </div>Pulpmurchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11794565376095694822noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7221202081578722412.post-43523872769094862782012-01-04T11:58:00.000-08:002012-01-04T11:59:52.465-08:003: Dateline China Station/ Woo Joins Quest for Missing Scientist<div class="MsoNormal">
Cub reporter Jimmy Woo here, Mr. Doogan is lucky to be
alive.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Tracking down a reliable source this Thursday past, Mr.
Doogan learned why only a qualified and experienced individual should ever
attempt to pull a rickshaw, especially when encumbered by a 300-pound German
mining engineer who has just shared the last of his reserve case of peppermint
schnapps. The principals of physics governing the function of a medieval
catapult were aptly demonstrated to every person in the vegetable market.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It should be noted that now the phrase, ‘There goes Doogan’,
results in most residents of the market district turning their faces to the
sky.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Mr. Doogan is currently recovering in his room at Mrs. Lau’s
House for Fallen Flowers (and similarly fallen Americans) while I, Jimmy Woo,
have been deputized as a ‘reporter in training’ for the honorable Hearst
Newspaper Syndicate. This reporter will
aid Mr. Doogan’s epic quest for the whereabouts of missing scientist, Dr.
Raullo Ortega, developer of the top secret X-Ray Radiograph machine.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Until next time, Mr. Doogan requests that you turn your
lights out Mother Doogan and let your pet cat into the back yard; this is Jimmy
Woo signing off.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://www.pulpfigures.com/">Please Visit the Pulp Figures site.</a> </div>Pulpmurchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11794565376095694822noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7221202081578722412.post-89247149517252203182012-01-03T16:27:00.000-08:002012-01-04T12:04:11.906-08:002: Dateline China Station/ Doogan Seeks French Consul<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Doogan here and I’m lucky to be alive.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Not since my award winning interview with all four of the
Shottz Quintuplets has this reporter felt more absorbed by a story. Hot on the
trail of lost scientist, Dr. Raullo Ortega, co-creator of the patented
Siezmetronic Pentographical Calliper, I found myself seeking official
information from the French Consulate in China Station, the East’s most
pronounced example of why no foreign power should ever expect to benefit from a
land war in <st1:place w:st="on">Asia</st1:place>. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
During an interview with the singular on-site representative
of the French Government, Major Jean Le Bouff, this reporter uncovered numerous
facts that might lead to incontrovertible evidence as to the whereabouts of <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">America</st1:place></st1:country-region>’s most
prominent missing scientist.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Fact number one: Dr. Ortega was in China Station. While here
he made his temporary residence in a private house in the foreign quarter,
sharing his accommodation with a Dutch diamond broker named Van Schaik, two
Scottish rail surveyors and a troupe of Russian sword jugglers.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Fact number two: Van Schaik is also now missing and both
Scots were accidentally killed while watching a practice performance by the
Russian Jugglers. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Fact number three: Major Le Bouff did investigate the
accidental demise of the kilted train spotters, but he concluded that the fault
lay not with the Russians but with the well known inability of a Scotsman to
remain seated for the duration of any theatrical performance. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Fact number four: When served the French appetizer known as
escargots, American travelers should be advised that this particular Gallic
culinary creation is not in fact ‘chicken giblets in gravy’ but common garden
slugs that if consumed in significant numbers can induce a near crippling case
of dysentery.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Until next time, turn the lights off Ma and let the cat out.
This is Doogan signing off.<br />
<br />
<br /><a href="http://www.pulpfigures.com/">Please Visit the Pulp Figures Site.</a></div>Pulpmurchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11794565376095694822noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7221202081578722412.post-49512979479046169682012-01-02T23:41:00.000-08:002012-01-04T12:03:33.398-08:001: Dateline China Station/ Doogan Arrives<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Doogan here and I’m lucky to be alive!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Responding to a direct request from Mr. William Randolph Hearst himself, your intrepid reporter followed a red-hot lead here to China Station, the Far East’s answer to Hoboken in January. My Mission? None other then to track down and if at all possible, return to America, the renown scientist, inventor of the Radon Intellescope, Dr. Raullo Ortega, missing now for over a year.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Captain Bernard Longshins, ex-Royal Navy, now commodore of the tramp steamer, Madam Butterfly, took me up the muddy delta of the legendary Boo Kong River. This was the only safe route to China Station, I was assured, since the notorious warlord Chun-King was operating in the dense jungle between this last outpost of civilization and the coast.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I spent my time below decks with Captain Longshins’ crew, a motley assortment of rogues and cutthroats performing my sacred duty in search of God’s own truth, using only my wits and a pack of cards I’ve carried since I was prematurely discharged from the Boy Scouts of America at the age of ten.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A hair’s breadth away from uncovering crucial clues as to the last known whereabouts of Dr. Ortega, and seven hundred French francs richer, my journalistic inquiry came to a sudden halt when a towering Malaysian coal shoveler, with a very large razor, claimed to have found a second queen of spades under a straw hat which bore a vague resemblance to my own bird nest. Executing a perfect swan dive from the quarterdeck, this reporter would have made his Michigan State swim team proud.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Kudos go out to the Remington Portable Typewriter Company for an excellent machine capable of enduring extensive submersion in both water and mud without suffering more then minor damage. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I now find myself in the palatial quarters of Mrs. Lau’s House for Fallen Flowers, China Station’s finest accommodation (which ain’t saying much folks), where I will prepare to continue my quest on behalf of you, dear readers.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Until next time, turn the lights off Ma and let the cat out. This is Doogan signing off.<br />
<br />
<br /><a href="http://www.pulpfigures.com/">Pleae Visit the Pulp Figures Site.</a></div>Pulpmurchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11794565376095694822noreply@blogger.com