Doogan here and I’m lucky to be alive!
Apologies go out to my faithful readers but this reporter
has been out of circulation for a while. I am victim of circumstances beyond
the control of even my esteemed publisher Mr. Hearst, who sent me on this
assignment to find missing American Electrical Physicist, creator of Aluminium
Helio-Vapor, Dr. Raullo Ortega. Regular subscribers will recall, when last I
wrote, I was trapped inside a dark container of some sort with only my trusty
Remington portable noiseless typewriter to keep me company.
The next installment of my adventure began when I was
awakened by rough hands grabbing me by the scruff and unceremoniously dragging
me from what turned out to be a large shipping crate. I was immediately thrust
into a wind-blasted open doorway. My eyes, accustomed to total darkness, were
blinded by the glare of daylight. Without a word, my masked abductors gave me
kick in the posterior and I instinctively prepared to land in a gutter. Instead
I found myself falling like a sack of hammers through the blue yonder.
Plummeting towards certain doom, I was just able to glimpse
a very large aircraft receding in the distance. I found myself smiling at the
irony of meeting my fate in this altitudinous manner, reminded of my second
wife Leota who accidentally tangled my ankle in the rope of a hot air balloon during
our honeymoon in the Pokinos.
Suddenly I heard a deafening roar and I was seized by a pair
of strong arms which arrested my precipitous decent. Turning, I saw my rescuer
was some sort of flying man wearing a backpack which spewed a jet of flame. At
that moment my savior was struck hard by a falling metal object, which turned
out to be my typewriter-obviously thrown from the plane immediately after me.
Fortune smiled once again and I was able grab hold of my prized possession but
the damage inflicted to my rescuer’s flying equipment was already done. His dented
rocket began to sputter and we commenced to plummet once more. By the slimmest
margin the flying man was able to re-start his engine just before the fatal
impact and we careened into a swampy patch of ground, narrowly escaping death.
At this point in my narrative I must leave you gentle
readers. Be sure, I will return to enlighten you with the next thrilling
installment of my adventure. Until then, turn the lights off Ma and let the cat
out. This is Doogan signing off.
Please Visit the Pulp Figures Website
