Doogan here and I’m lucky to be alive.
Not since my award winning interview with all four of the
Shottz Quintuplets has this reporter felt more absorbed by a story. Hot on the
trail of lost scientist, Dr. Raullo Ortega, co-creator of the patented
Siezmetronic Pentographical Calliper, I found myself seeking official
information from the French Consulate in China Station, the East’s most
pronounced example of why no foreign power should ever expect to benefit from a
land war in Asia .
During an interview with the singular on-site representative
of the French Government, Major Jean Le Bouff, this reporter uncovered numerous
facts that might lead to incontrovertible evidence as to the whereabouts of America
Fact number one: Dr. Ortega was in China Station. While here
he made his temporary residence in a private house in the foreign quarter,
sharing his accommodation with a Dutch diamond broker named Van Schaik, two
Scottish rail surveyors and a troupe of Russian sword jugglers.
Fact number two: Van Schaik is also now missing and both
Scots were accidentally killed while watching a practice performance by the
Russian Jugglers.
Fact number three: Major Le Bouff did investigate the
accidental demise of the kilted train spotters, but he concluded that the fault
lay not with the Russians but with the well known inability of a Scotsman to
remain seated for the duration of any theatrical performance.
Fact number four: When served the French appetizer known as
escargots, American travelers should be advised that this particular Gallic
culinary creation is not in fact ‘chicken giblets in gravy’ but common garden
slugs that if consumed in significant numbers can induce a near crippling case
of dysentery.
Until next time, turn the lights off Ma and let the cat out.
This is Doogan signing off.
Please Visit the Pulp Figures Site.
Please Visit the Pulp Figures Site.
